If you still care, don't ever let me know
by AmourXSexXetXYaoi
Summary: Sasuke leaves konoha, and now naruto has to pay the price of sasukes choice. Song-fic, sad, a little bit of angst. Soft Yaoi SasuNaru. Hint of character death. Rated T just to be safe.


Yo!! Van here! so here is my first fanfic and i have to say it kind of sucks that it's a sad one, but i got inspired while listening to this one song that i just couldn't help it! I had to write something for this song. So anyway i hope you guys like it

Warnings: Sad, yaoi (so if you don't like male pairing then please leave), hint of character death umm and that's it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the song, the characters, nada, zilch, rien!!

Tip: Sometimes when I'm reading a story i like to listen to a song that just adds to the story. So since this is a song-fic, i advise you to check out the song Snuff by Slipknot (that's the song this story is based on). Some of you may not like slipknot, but it's not a song that will blow your eardrums out, it's a soft song. You might not like the style of the song but just listen to it while reading this story, it helps you understand the words in a more profound way and it could help you "see" what i saw when i wrote this.

anyway let's get this show on the road!! YOSH! :D

**Bold Thoughts**

_Italics Lyrics_

* * *

The weather outside reflected the swirling feelings of pain the boy felt. As if the sky was taking pity on his soul.

The boy, surrounded by darkness except for the small candle lit in the corner of the room. Its light casting shadows over his pale face. His hands trembled as he looked at the photograph in his hand, remembering the scroll and hidden secrets he discovered long ago on the night his whole world turned into a nightmare.

**Why? why so many secrets within this clan?**

Every breath he took reminded him of the cage his memories formed, trapping him in a never ending nightmare.

**Were they too much of a burden to carry?**

the breeze flew in through the windows murmuring, making the candles light flicker.

"love is just a camouflage" he murmured taking one last look at the photograph before setting it on the table next to a letter.

* * *

_Bury all your secrets in my skin _

_Come away with innocence _

_And leave me with my sins _

_The air around me still feels like a cage _

_And love is just a camouflage _

_For what resembles rage again_

* * *

"Leave me alone" (1)

"You deserve a better life than the one you imagine. Dreams are only wishes, they never come true"

Each word, felt like a deep cut on his heart. He blocked out the other boys words. His eyes that were once full of the life that the boy in front of him gave him, vanished leaving nothing but dead black eyes.

"Go home, Naruto" He said turning around leaving what little hope and love he used to have in his now cold heart. Leaving behind everything. His future, his love, his life.

He continued walking pretending he couldn't hear His sobbing and muffled screams of pain, a pain that can't physically heal.

"I am an avenger"

* * *

_So if you love me let me go_

_And run away before I know _

_My heart is just too dark to care I cant destroy what isn't there_

_Deliver me into my fate If I'm alone I cannot hate_

_I don't deserve to have you_

_My smile was taken long ago _

_If I can change I hope I never know_

* * *

**It's raining again.**

He looked outside the window, it had been raining for the past few days, as if the heavens wanted to cry in his place. He looked away, looking down at his hands clutching His letter. His hands clutched it like a lifeline. It was a lifeline, to the life that he once had. He raised the letter to his lips, kissing it tenderly as if that would some how send his kiss to the one he loved. He opened his eyes, without realising they were closed, everything was hazy. He wipes his eyes and noticed the tears on his cheeks.

**Traitorous tears**

He thought scathingly.

"Heh, i almost sound like the teme"

He thought, his lips twitching into a sad smile that quickly vanished. Just mentioning Him brought back all the memories hitting him like a ton of bricks. Every small touch, every argument, every kiss treasured and kept in a safe place where he would never forget His warmth.

"Sasuke"

He breathed, the sound barely a whisper.

"How long has he been in there?" The gray haired jounin asked the pink haired girl.

"Far too long" she said looking at the door, her fist raised in a hesitant gesture. Making her decision she was about to knock when she heard quiet sobs coming from the other side of the door. The name "sasuke" gasped out by the crying boy like a mantra. A prayer to the heavens for Him to come back.

* * *

_I still press your letters to my lips _

_And cherish them in parts of me that saver every kiss _

_I couldn't face a life without your light_

_But all of that was ripped apart. _

_When you refused to fight_

* * *

"Don't!"

He screamed at the figure in front of him, taking a few steps back.

**Deny.**

"Naruto . . ."

He knows He is reaching out to him, his warm pale hand that used to bring him love and safety was just inches away and yet he couldn't . . . no didn't want to feel that touch. He knew he'd believe whatever he said. He'd be captured, by those sinful lips.

**Deny.**

"Why? . . . why are you doing this to me?"

He asked his hands covering his ears in a weak gesture of defence. He didn't hear a response but he could still hear his soft breathing.

"You couldn't hate enough to love"

He whispered to the wind. The other figure stoped moving, as if his words were stabbing His heart.

**I can't . . .**

He shook his head not even sparing a glance at the other figure, running into the woods taking salvation in the forest. He stoped at the trunk of a tree and fell to the ground. He felt his energy leaving him. Even after 3 years, he still couldn't find the strength to hurt Him.

**My Friend.**

He punched the ground trying to get His image out of his mind.

**My Best friend.**

He punched it again, feeling the approaching chakra but not paying attention.

**My Love.**

He felt the warm hand on his shoulder.

"Naruto, you have to come back." She whispered to him.

He got up, his bleeding fist clutched tightly. His head down, he started walking back to Konoha. The others looked after his retreating back before leaving as well.

"Naruto . . . "

He whispered into the wind, his voice full of love. He knew he must go back. Once Naruto disappeared from his range of sight, his mask sliped back into place.

* * *

_So save your breath I will not hear_

_I think I made it very clear _

_You couldn't hate enough to love _

_Is that supposed to be enough?_

_I only wish you weren't my friend _

_Then I could hurt you in the end _

_I never claimed to be a saint _

_My hope was banished long ago _

_It took the death of hope to let you go_

* * *

He hated the looks they gave him.

**Traitor. Monster.**

Those were the words apparent in ever face as he was dragged down the main road of the village to the Hokages office.

They gave him looks of pity. Looks of hate.

He smirked. He didn't care, as long as he got to see His smile one last time, he wouldn't care about what they said.

* * *

_So break yourself against my stones _

_And spit your pity in my soul_

* * *

He didn't need to look at Him to feel His eyes on him. They followed him, with an intensity that made shivers run up and down his spine.

**You love him.**

A small voice said.

**NO!**

He shouted at himself, the small voice said nothing.

He clutched his arms around his waist, as if he was trying to barricade himself from the world.

"Naruto would you like to talk to the prisoner before . . . "

**Before the execution.**

The small voice said.

He bit his lip, not trusting his voice, he nodded.

"Everyone out"

Tsunade ordered, everyone filed out of the room. She was the last to leave. She headed to the door, placing her hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Do the right thing"

She said before heading out, locking the door behind her.

**The right thing?**

He asked himself looking at the door.

"Naruto"

Sasuke said looking at him. He could see the slight tremble of naruto's shoulders.

"Don't sasuke"

Naruto responded scathingly. He turned around and looked at Sasuke's face for the first time in years.

**Still as beautiful.**

The small voice said.

Even in his state, Sasuke still looked like the angel of death(2) that descended on to earth.

**An angel with black wings.**

He thought looking at sasuke's face, noticing the bruises.

"Naruto I want to explain"

Sasuke tried once again.

"Explain what? how you sold me out to the akatsuki? how I could have died?"

He asked furiously feeling a bittersweet happiness seeing Sasuke wince at his words.

* * *

_You never needed any help_

_You sold me out to save yourself_

* * *

"It was the only way! If someone else had gotten to you before I had, they would have extracted the demon and I wouldn't have been able to stop them." Sasuke shouted at him. Naruto flinched at Sasukes loud voice.

"You used me! You just wanted to get Itachi! You didn't care if i lived or died! You said so yourself!" He yelled back, his face slightly flushing.

"I lied! They wouldn't have believed me otherwise." Naruto shook his head.

**Deny.**

He started walking towards the door intending to leave.

"I still love you"

He stopped his hand resting on the door nob. His heartbeat stopped for what seemed an eternity. He could feel the tears cascading down his cheeks. Without a second glance he opened the door and ran out. The others who were waiting outside the office anxiously, started when he ran out.  
He heard them calling him back. He ran faster. As fast as his feet could take him. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed he was on top of the hokage mountain.

* * *

_And I wont listen to your shame _

_You ran away you're all the same_

* * *

He stayed there for what seemed like hours looking at the sky without really seeing it.

'It was the only way! If someone else had gotten to you before i had they would have extracted the demon and i wouldn't have been able to stop them.'

He remembered looking at the pleading expression Sasukes eyes held.

'I lied! They wouldn't have believed me otherwise.'

Sasuke had a scared expression, as if everything he had was finally leaving his grasp.

'I still love you'

The words were spoken so softly but in the silence of the room it felt like it was shouted out.

He placed his hands over his eyes

"Why? why did you have to tell me that now?"

He asked no one. Of course there was no one. No one understood what he felt and no one could help him.

'Do the right thing'

Tsunades words rang in his head.

* * *

_Angels lie to keep control _

_My love was punished long ago_

* * *

He sighed looking out through the small hole in the wall that he used as a window.

**I couldn't get Him to smile.**

He thought looking out the hole.

He remembered the way Naruto froze when he told him he loved him. He almost had hope, but hope is vain when you've committed so much pain to the person you love.

"If you still care, don't ever let me know"

He said then turned his head to look at the door opening, an anbu member entered his "prison" to escort him to where they were going to execute him. He stood up and waited for the ninja to bind his arms. He was dragged out into the sunlight, the whole walk to his death, he looked up at the blue sky.

**As blue as His eyes**

He thought remembering the blue eyes that he used to stare into endlessly, before he left. Naruto's blue eyes had dulled over time. They had a much darker color now.

**Was it because of me? did his eyes loose all life like mine?**

He thought and he would have mentally kicked himself if he still had the force to do anything.

He looked ahead of him. He ignored the faces of the people that came to see the execution of the traitor.

* * *

He didn't know he had actually fallen asleep when Sakura shook him gently. Her green eyes had a tired look.

"They're taking him to the execution stand" She said looking at him, waiting for his reaction. He didn't say anything.

"You know, sasuke was always a good liar. Even though he always said he hated you, he still considered you his best friend above all others. I remember this one time when he told me that he would give his life up for you, that even though he hated your naive and annoying side. He still treasured you. He said you grew onto him. Like you were some annoying disease, you either died or you got used to it." She said with a slight laugh in her voice. She didn't have to look at him to know his expression. She didn't even look at him as he got up pecked her on the cheek and ran as fast as he could.

"He always loved you more" She said, a lonesome tear sliding down her cheek.

* * *

They took him to this wooden stand, where every villager could see him. Some were throwing foods at him, some were yelling at him, shouting insults, but they were all ignorants. They didn't know what he had to sacrifice. They didn't know what he had to do. They didn't know who he hurt.

He scanned the crowd, looking for a mop of blond hair.

**He didn't come**

He felt another stab in his heart.

**All hope is gone**

He thought as the anbu member made him fall to his knees, then tied a blindfold over his eyes.

"Do you have any last words?"

The anbu asked.

"Yeah. Naruto, i will always love you dobe."

He said with a small smile on his face.

He could hear the footsteps of the anbu walking behind him, he could smell the flowers from the nearby sakura trees, he could hear the general intake of breath as the sword was sheathed.

* * *

He could see everyone there, the villagers that hated him, now directed their hate towards the the figure on his knees on the execution stand.

**Kyuubi, if you can hear me, now is the time i need you the most.**

He said to the kyuubi. He felt nothing.

**Kyuubi please!**

Then he felt it. The sliver of hope he was waiting for. The red chakra came out of him, all the villagers turned around to look at him. He was getting closer. The anbu was taking his sword out.

"NO!!"

He yelled. The anbu looked up at him surprised by his outcry. The anbu not knowing what to do decided to continue with the execution. he lowered his sword.

Naruto ran faster, pushing people out of his way. The sword descended inch by inch toward sasuke. he could hear the angry and shocked cries of the villagers. He didn't care. The sword was no more than a a few inches away from Sasukes back, where it would pierce through him and through his heart.

* * *

He felt nothing. He couldn't tell if he was alive or dead.

**The blindfold had some conveniences**

he thought bitterly.

Then he felt the slight touch of the point of the sword.

**The end is near**

he thought calmly.

**Finally, he thinks i have all day here?**

he thought sarcastically, when he felt the sword's point dig into his shirt. All thoughts vanished from his mind except naruto's face.

**. . . what?**

he thought feeling something warm hugging him. He could hear the person's breath next to his ear, making him shiver slightly.

Then he heard it.

"I still love you teme."

* * *

"I still love you teme."

I felt him stiffen then relax. My right hand was bleeding from where i was holding the sword.

I heard someone approach us, I turned to look at them growling slightly.

"That's enough. I'm cancelling the execution." Tsunade said with a smug smile. The anbu hesitated before walking away from naruto and sasuke.

"You did the right thing" She said smiling at naruto. He noded at her then moves away from Sasuke to look at his face.

Sasuke's tears were falling from under the blindfold. He untied the blindfold but sasuke kept his eyes closed.

"I'm dead aren't i?" Sasuke asked, his voice trembling.

"No you're alive" He answered running his left hand over Sasukes cheek. Sasuke opened his eyes. Sasuke was looking at him as if he'd never seen the sun before.

"Yeah I'm finally home" He whispered closing the distance between his lips and Naruto's.

* * *

_If you still care, don't ever let me know_

* * *

Well there you have it. My first fanfic. I was gonna make it sad but i'm a sap for romance so i decided to make it happy. If anyone wants the sad version let me know

(1) monologue, it's only sasuke talking since he's blocking out naruto's words.

(2) I was wondering who ressembled sasuke either adonis or an angel. Then i had to pick which angel. I was gonna go for Azrael, the islamic archangel of death but then there was michael and samael who are the good and evil angels of death. So not to fry my brain i decided to put angel of death.

Van a.k.a. Dark Angel


End file.
